Tracing Myself
Twenty chapters. Published as I write them.
Part I - The Father & The Fracture
The Builder
My father's presence, legacy, and the imprint of his one quiet moment with me.
The Day Everything Shifted
The moment I was pulled from class. Not attending the funeral. The internal rupture.
What Grief Did to a Boy
Anger, defiance, and emotional contradictions. I became untouchable but still loving.
Too Much and Not Enough
Being the favourite and the hardest to handle. The birth of emotional duality.
Learning the Mask
Early adolescence. People-pleasing, over-functioning, and managing other people's energy.
Part II - Building Myself From Scratch
Running on Empty
Hustle as identity. Earning my place. Outperforming the pain.
What a Man Is Supposed to Be
Masculinity, toughness, pride. Suppressing sensitivity. Outward strength, inward silence.
Becoming a Soldier
Training, discipline, identity through proving myself. Belonging through structure.
The Injury That Undid Everything
Bilateral compartment syndrome. Surgery. Discharge. Forced exit from who I was becoming.
The Man With Nowhere to Go
The identity void post-discharge. Disorientation. Depression. Searching for new footing.
Part III - Love, Loss, and Starting Again
Building a New Life
Relationship. Starting a business. Becoming a dad. Reconstructing for others.
The Good Man I Tried to Be
Showing up. Sacrificing. Providing. Trying to be everything my father didn't get to.
The Slow Burnout
Emotional depletion, relationship strain, pressure from success. Losing myself again.
The Separation
Ending the relationship. Co-parenting. Guilt, grief, and trying to stay strong.
Wine at the End of the Day
The quiet introduction of drinking. Numbing. COVID years. Self-soothing without awareness.
Part IV - Unmasking Myself
The Mirror
Journaling. Therapy. Ava. Gratitude practice. Seeing myself clearly for the first time.
What I Never Got to Say
Unspoken words to my father, younger self, and past relationships. The power of saying it now.
Would He Be Proud?
The core question that shaped my life. Learning to answer it for myself.
I Am All of It
Integrating my full self. The sensitive and the strong. No longer splitting who I am.
The Man I Am Becoming
Not a finish line. Just an arrival. Legacy redefined. Tracing forward with truth.
Kade Dunstone · Performance coach. Builder. Father.